Last night was the children's Spring Program at school. Oh the drama, banging and screaming that went on, all because of a program! This year like previous years, Joseph didn't participate in the program. Standing in front of a crowd without someone by his side to regulate him would not be a good idea, besides he says, "Standing up there makes my stomach hurt." Even though he didn't help with the program, he still had a 90 minute meltdown on Wednesday evening. Thankfully it coincided with his sisters meltdown so at the end of 90 minutes they were both calm and in bed.
Kiana is home with me this morning working through big feelings brought on by the program. We had the usual, "I am upset because you adopted me - you aren't my mom - I wish my birth mom would have taken care of me" talk. The other week in therapy Mr D asked Kiana what makes a mom. She said, "A mom is someone who takes care of you, give you food, loves you and keeps you safe."
Mr D said, "So you are saying anyone can be a mom, even if she doesn't have a baby grow in her tummy?" Kiana slowly agreed because she knew where the conversation was going. In the end she had to admit that I did the things a mom should, making me just as much her mom as is her birth mom.
Near the end of our talk this morning I asked her what kind of mom I am, the kind who cares for her children or the kind who doesn't. She wasn't ready to give in yet, so she said, "You are a therapy mom."
Kiana is on the floor at my feet with her My Loving Family people busily re enacting the program. Those people have been quite therapeutic over the years. Children naturally act out their feelings through play. Watching and listening as the girls play with their "families" has been a huge asset helping us understand what is bothering them.