tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.comments2023-02-06T11:26:38.005-05:00Tales From Our HouseSandra Zimmermanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-92163932925773209762018-05-23T15:21:11.514-04:002018-05-23T15:21:11.514-04:00Thank you Catherine! I can get very angry with Big...Thank you Catherine! I can get very angry with Big Pharma when I think of the damage being done to me and those like me. Blessings as you carry on, PTSD is no picnic either!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-43277006126402206222018-05-23T14:24:09.888-04:002018-05-23T14:24:09.888-04:00Lots of love and hugs to you. You are very brave t...Lots of love and hugs to you. You are very brave to tell this story. Unfortunately it is another instance of greed versus truth. The value of this story is the connection you have to the group now being targeted by Big Pharma. I have PTSD from 33 years on the front lines of this parenting challenge. Both the caregivers and those with the disability are so vulnerable! We are sitting ducks for a professional who says they can help. We must arm ourselves with verifiable information. None of these drugs were studied for longer than 6 weeks! Thank you for your story!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11397999024519462215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-57237285353566202602018-05-10T12:56:59.339-04:002018-05-10T12:56:59.339-04:00Thank you, and the same to you!Thank you, and the same to you!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-16726238079261867032018-05-10T12:21:36.634-04:002018-05-10T12:21:36.634-04:00Great blog Sandra - love and hugs to you :)Great blog Sandra - love and hugs to you :)DensDenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14749527770631936380noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-53272014095576520952018-05-09T14:50:46.520-04:002018-05-09T14:50:46.520-04:00Hugs, it is so very hard and often the future look...Hugs, it is so very hard and often the future looks scary. I have to keep reminding myself that God loves my son even more than I do. My son would totally panic and react in the wrong way if law enforcement needed to be involved in a situation. He panics and either runs or fights. He has no self control and will rage even when doing so will obviously make the situation worse. Blessings as you face each challenging day.Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-89089726183342229442018-05-09T14:25:33.039-04:002018-05-09T14:25:33.039-04:00Oh how the above is so true I am the mother of 6 b...Oh how the above is so true I am the mother of 6 bio children and two adopted sons one with FASD and I worry everyday about where he will be when I no longer have the strength to run when he spontaneously bolts and will someone understand him like I do when he has a meltdown will someone love him and hug him when really the behaviour is a result of anxiety and fear. I pray everyday that God grant me strength and good health that I can be there for my son who shows no facial features and look like every other little boy walking down the street. I worry as he gets older that if he was to have a meltdown in a public place and says things that may make someone feel threatened will the law enforcement wait till they hear his voice to know my son is challenged and with a gentle voice know that they can de escalate the situation before they hurt or shoot him. I worry everyday. There was a moment where in my weak moment where I asked god why did you let me know this child because I'm exhausted mentally and physically and everyday is a battle with services and school. But I know why God chose me for my son because I love him unconditionally and although at times I weaken and yes my bathroom is my place to have my mommy pity party then I regain my strength I know I'm not alone.<br />FASD needs in Canada to be excepted in legistration as a disability like Autism,CP,and many other disabilities so that we can get services to support the caregivers and educate and protect our special children. marynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-32964518736934227592018-05-08T09:48:01.865-04:002018-05-08T09:48:01.865-04:00 The conservator was recommended by someone in leg... The conservator was recommended by someone in legal field. I hope he will continue, but he lives quite a distance from my son. Time will tell. CPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05833425592799401956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-24023229827715979652018-05-08T07:22:04.796-04:002018-05-08T07:22:04.796-04:00"how are we going to help the adults who want... "how are we going to help the adults who want to be adults but who are forever children in many ways?" I have often asked myself that very question. How did you find your conservator? Blessings!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-66224620052446995322018-05-07T22:44:34.662-04:002018-05-07T22:44:34.662-04:00 One thing to think about – who is going to provid... One thing to think about – who is going to provide the boundaries when this child becomes adult in body? I have a 33-year-old son, diagnosed with static encephalopathy, whose life was protected and managed as he was growing up. He did not receive a diagnosis until he was 17 , but we knew there was something that needed to be managed and protected. I was his guardian from age 18 through 29 and then it was first given to the office of public advocacy – the state - and a year later it went to private conservatorship because the court deemed that he was not cooperative and was too difficult to have a guardian. We - and he - did not receive very much support over the years. We - and he - were roundly criticized for being too over protective and enabling or for not doing enough. He was told multiple times that he he needed to try harder. My husband has passed and I am 71. The closest thing we have to support now is the current conservator who seems to understand better than most what his needs are. We pay him a monthly fee and if he does extra we pay him extra for that month. When I am gone, I don’t know who is going to help him have parameters because the world at large certainly doesn’t care. I am not saying you are incorrect. I am simply saying that we need to move to the next step – how are we going to help the adults who want to be adults but who are forever children in many ways?CPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05833425592799401956noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-23287023406985984122018-04-10T13:22:21.958-04:002018-04-10T13:22:21.958-04:00Your story sounds very similar to ours. I was secr...Your story sounds very similar to ours. I was secretly hoping homeschool wouldn't be the answer, as I really didn't feel I had the mental and emotional energy to put into it. However, it proved to be just what our children need, so for now we will continue homeschooling them. Blessings!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-66080282728067268602018-04-10T11:42:48.969-04:002018-04-10T11:42:48.969-04:00I too am coming into the home stretch of our first...I too am coming into the home stretch of our first year of homeschooling one of my children. It has not always been easy but well worth it. She is better emotionally than she has been in a long time. We still have a long way to go but glad we are on the right track. So glad we made the change. It was supposed to be a temporary change but we are diving into another year. Will just play it by ear and see what she needs from year to year. But for now this is a wonderful choice for us. Glad you have found it works for you too. :) KellyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-87173213783439065952018-03-29T13:34:21.564-04:002018-03-29T13:34:21.564-04:00Thank you Lauren! Keeping the right mindset is so ...Thank you Lauren! Keeping the right mindset is so difficult for me, especially with several children who struggle. We are working on helping them feel safe and loved, but it is difficult since they have experienced traumatic experiences, even in our home. Thanks again!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-78262259699107167202018-03-29T13:26:09.593-04:002018-03-29T13:26:09.593-04:00Hi! I've read your blog from time to time! I c...Hi! I've read your blog from time to time! I can relate to this post to some extent... We have a little one that struggles with boundaries too. It's a work in progress and I'm excited to see the progress we have made in a year!! I struggle too not assigning motives and blame on our kids for their bad choices. But everytime I get in that mindset, my relationship with my kids gets ugly. Suddenly it's me vs them instead of me and my child vs the behaviors. Our kids don't want to feel and act the way they do, but they are doing strategies that they have learned for survival from the pain and trauma they suffered. It doesn't make it okay, but until we can teach positive coping strategies and they can recognize that they are safe and loved, we can't expect them to change what had worked for them in the past. I would love to talk with you more about this if you are interested... One thing that has helped me when I'm struggling to feel love for my kids are to take my child out on a special date were we can enjoy each other. We all need reminders that we are special and loved. I struggle with people pleasing too. I find the best thing that helps me over come that is being in good relationship with my child. It sounds funny, but it makes the world of difference to me. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13964503628273780424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-86406573212216909072018-03-27T20:41:28.138-04:002018-03-27T20:41:28.138-04:00Thank you and God bless for caring and sharing on ...Thank you and God bless for caring and sharing on this journey!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-46545510430131456322018-03-27T20:31:19.108-04:002018-03-27T20:31:19.108-04:00I'm there with you my friend, it is so hard to...I'm there with you my friend, it is so hard to be parents of traumized children.God has a plan for both of us. We are both overcomers through Christ who gives us the strength to walk through anything Satan throws in our path. Our meeting and being apart of the group isn't a chance happening. God has the master plan and we are apart of it. So my friend rest in the Lord and watch what our father in heaven has in store for our future with are traumized children. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-6717791928859566552018-03-19T12:47:15.334-04:002018-03-19T12:47:15.334-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-5941236476971213512018-03-16T09:34:25.972-04:002018-03-16T09:34:25.972-04:00Adopting children with challenging behavior has a ...Adopting children with challenging behavior has a way of making us less judgmental of other parents who are struggling! Yes, typical parenting technique's do not work for our children, although if I am honest, in my weak moments I sometimes fall back on those methods. I am always brought back to the realization that this does not work! Blessings!Sandra Zimmermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00848022860630877810noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-83171401171944514382018-03-15T20:34:54.982-04:002018-03-15T20:34:54.982-04:00I have experienced most of these things you mentio...I have experienced most of these things you mention in this blog. We have 3 bio sons and adopted 2 siblings from Russia when they were 5 and 10. Both of them have challenged our parenting skills. We adopted because we felt we were good parents and our 3 sons were relatively easy. I now have sympathy for parents who struggle with their kids, because we have struggled and we are good parents. Most think that if your kids swear, act out, etc., then they must have terrible parents. Sometimes true...but definitely not always. I don't share our troubles with others because I have heard the comments on how we brought this onto ourselves by adopting them. I have heard parenting advice, like- Have you tried grounding her/him? Ha, really...never thought of doing that.<br />Anyways, it is nice to hear from others like ourselves and know we aren't exaggerating. We've actually gotten through the worst of things and are now experiencing some light at the end of the tunnel. Hoping the best for you too!<br /><br />Debbie MummUnknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00636699398968087046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-42675034875992820832018-02-27T18:45:55.947-05:002018-02-27T18:45:55.947-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08407578870851039378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-42957070620273126482018-02-22T15:35:03.319-05:002018-02-22T15:35:03.319-05:00Just to add our daughter was adopted from birth an...Just to add our daughter was adopted from birth and though we hope that our particular situation meant she has minimal trauma we recognise it is a possibility and will hopefully have the support to help her work with/through it if signs of trauma develop.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08502219486601314151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-12149325511463155452018-02-22T15:32:05.241-05:002018-02-22T15:32:05.241-05:00I like your post however I wouldn't tell peopl...I like your post however I wouldn't tell people not to have visitors and not pass baby around. I think our daughter is a very social girl partly becayse we exposed her to many people early on. Yes i balanced this with wearing her and holding her very closely for long periods to balance that but i think it is a mistake for some children (naturally depending on their previous trauma and experience etc) to not have opportunity to bond with close family and friends early on too as this gives them a sense of community too.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08502219486601314151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-35850406562210516892014-08-29T12:31:45.565-04:002014-08-29T12:31:45.565-04:00I have that poem in Rylan's lifebook with his ...I have that poem in Rylan's lifebook with his adoption pictures. Such great loss mixed with great gain...truly bittersweet. Wish we could have been at her party! We are so happy for your family for God's beautiful, sweet, precious answer to prayer!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-13079480795859513042014-08-27T10:42:50.733-04:002014-08-27T10:42:50.733-04:00Looks like your catching up with computer stuff to...Looks like your catching up with computer stuff to. Its quiet here for the first time since the beginning of June!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02691002964065580036noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-84114204075287906732014-08-15T20:15:01.475-04:002014-08-15T20:15:01.475-04:00She is beautiful!!She is beautiful!!Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11258418122517717966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6466923341949027110.post-88371736407407712752014-08-15T06:32:20.483-04:002014-08-15T06:32:20.483-04:00Congratulations! ....and what a beautiful name.Congratulations! ....and what a beautiful name.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02691002964065580036noreply@blogger.com