Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I Don't Feel Safe

Ever since school began, Joseph has been acting out. We figured it has to do with the stress of adjusting to a new routine. The things he did at home and at school are behaviors we typically see when something is bugging him. We spent hours talking, trying to get to the bottom of the problem. I don't think Joseph himself knew what was wrong. Last night during yet another talk he said, "I don't feel safe at school." That was all the explanation I needed to understand the problem. He was acting out to see what would happen, his teacher was cutting him slack because he is a first grader, he does have some special needs, school had just started etc. For the past few years we have been drilling it into him that we give consequences because we love him and want to keep him safe. So in his mind, lack of consequences=being unsafe. Joseph must feel safe in order to progress in life, as do all children however he suffers to a greater degree. Having been "trauma parents" for several years one would think we would have easily figured out what was going on emotionally. Obviously we have lots to learn. After our talk Joseph jumped up, hugged me, put his pj's on, ate his snack and jumped in bed where he immediately fell asleep.

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