Tough Days

        Last week we had Summer Bible School at church. I had the privilege of teaching 2nd grade. They were a joy, so innocent and full of questions, best of all, they took my scattered teaching methods in stride. 
                       

This is what my classroom table looked like after the children left.

     The Bible School teachers usually give the children a small gift on the last evening of Bible School. I went to a local store and dug through their $1.00 bins, then assembled a gift bag for each child. Lia and Joseph could scarcely contain their excitement when I was putting the items in my cart. They were disappointed when I told them what the gifts were for but they cheered up after I promised them some of the left over goodies. 


               Simple gift bags filled with treats

Kiana spent the night at a friends house last week. She said she missed us and was happy to be home again. Later Dean told me it is nice to know she actually likes us. :) We know she does, but right now the grass is always greener elsewhere.

    Somebody doesn't look tired and it is way past her bedtime.

These past two weeks have been rough. First we had Bible School from Sunday evening through Thursday evening and that meant a lot of going away, something my little people do not handle so well. 

    We had a full weekend planned as well but one of the events was cancelled because of the rain so we stayed home and tried to regain our equilibrium. Tried being the key word here because we didn't succeed. Then at 2:30 Sunday morning Miss Lia decided she has had enough sleep for one night. She fell asleep about an hour before it was time to get up for church.

   By the time Monday morning rolled around, I was hoping things would be going better. They weren't. Joseph was so dysregulated, he bordered on hysteria. He spent the afternoon in his bed (his choice) rather than allow me to help him sort out what was wrong. I wasn't sure myself what was bothering him so I didn't push him to hard. When Dean came home he  tried to figure out what was wrong but Joseph just cried and screamed, he was that upset.

   Joseph did admit that he is sad we are selling our camper. Both Kiana and Joseph have a problem when we sell something. I told him the only way we can buy new things is to sell stuff we no longer use. That helped him understand and calmed him down for the moment. But this morning I had to have the same discussion with Kiana. She too understood why we sell things but she was worried we would sell her doll houses!

  I hate the feeling of helplessness I get when I don't know what is bothering my children and they can't or won't tell me. Last night I was reading over the manuscript for a book I would like to publish someday and the light bulb went on... Joseph was placed with us on June 28th, no wonder he is struggling.

   A child who is placed in foster care/adopted or experienced a traumatic event will often experience emotional turmoil at the time of year the incident took place. They will not be able to tell you what is wrong or why they feel as they do but the pain is real.

    Several weeks ago a friend and I planned to spend this morning together. When Kiana and Joseph woke up in tears, I texted Dean to get his opinion on whether to place them with babysitters as planned or stay home. He reminded me that they usually do okay for babysitters so it is up to me when I feel like dealing with the meltdowns, in the morning or afternoon. So I went and thoroughly enjoyed my morning as well as a delicious lunch at Rachel's Crepery. Thanks to all of my babysitters, my morning felt like a breath of fresh air.

     I came home refreshed and ready to tackle the tough job of being mom. I wouldn't trade my "job" for anything though because as tough as life can be around here sometimes, I still consider myself blessed.