Thursday, March 3, 2016

When God Calls You To Adopt And You Fear The Unknown

   Sometimes I fear people look at our adoption journey and decide not to follow through with it because they worry their story will look like ours. There are a lot of scary stories out there and I know I write about some of the tougher things you may face if you do decide to foster and/or adopt don't let that stop you. Go into it with an open mind and a willing heart and God will bless you despite the tough times.

   Like most people we got into foster care for two reason's; our house felt empty with only one child and we felt God calling us to it. 

  We naively thought taking in younger children would mean "less problems." I feel ashamed when I think about it now, but at the time that is how we felt, beside's we knew nothing about parenting an older child, as Tristan had just turned 4. We were advised not to mess up the birth order which made sense, and still does. But that leaves me wondering who will care for the older children if everyone thinks like we did. 

  Kiana came to us and a few short months later, Joseph and B came. We were busy, but happy. 3 babies made me forget the months of empty arms and Tristan loved having children to play with.

    B was different from the moment he was placed with us, but we thought he simply needed time to adjust. As the months passed and then a year came and went, we grew suspicious that there was more going on than we realized. By then the boys case was moving toward adoption and we hoped adoption would help him feel more secure. It didn't.

   We gradually came to realize that B's struggle's would not be overcome in a few months of therapy. Kiana and Joseph were struggling as well, but we didn't realize the magnitude of what we were facing.

    God graciously led us small step by small step, until one day I realized that caring for my children was going to mean much more than typical child rearing. I remember thinking, "I can't do this!"

   But God was gracious, he continued to lead us along, revealing one diagnosis at a time. If we would have known RAD, FASD, 2.5 years of out of home treatment, years of therapy, a CYS investigation and an adoption disruption was ahead of us, I fear we wouldn't have pursued adoption. 

   Think of all the blessings we would have missed out on! All the friends we have made, the lessons we have learned and the people who have impacted our lives, none of it would have happened. Sometimes God takes us on a difficult journey to prepare us for greater blessings, other times it is to refine us, or you may be used as an instrument to bless others, come what may, he has a purpose and a plan. 

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  So if you are thinking of opening your home to the some of the most vulnerable among us and feel God is calling you, don't let the "horror stories" stand in the way. God will make a way even when there doesn't seem to be a way and if He does call you to one of the situations you fear, He will give you the grace and courage to face it head on.

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