Friday, March 11, 2016

"You Are A Mean Old Mom" - An Opportunity To Practice Jesus' Love

       I need to learn coping skills as much as or more than, my children with trauma. The daily grind of deflecting trauma inspired words and actions wears on a body. On the bright side, having parented a child with RAD makes all our current difficulties pale, because nothing attachment related, can compare with RAD. However, in the constant push and pull in our relationships with Kiana and Joseph, it is easy to forget that this is easy in comparison.

   In the past 18 hours, those two have thrown enough accusations my way that I would be tempted to give up, if it wasn't for my knowledge of trauma and how it affects children, Dean patiently and firmly standing behind everything I say and the love and grace Jesus gives.

    "You should make everyone who is telling lies about me stay in the house, instead of making me stay with you!"

   "I don't want to live here any more, it is no fun. Everyone is mean to me!"

    "I am the only adopted girl in my class and it isn't fair!"

   "I don't want you for a mom".... the other child said, "I want you for a mom but I don't want Tristan for a brother."

   "I won't and you can't make me!!!"

   "I hate work, I hate being home and I wish I never had to live here!"

    "You are a big, mean, old mom!"

    "I am not talking about it!"

  "I am going to run away and live some where else, I don't want to be here with you!"

     "You don't care about anything that happens to me!"

    "You don't love me or you wouldn't make rules that I don't like!"

     "I am not doing my school work because it is too hard for me and you don't even care, you just want me to have a hard life!"

   "Why did you adopt me, I want to live with my birth mom, I would be much happier with her!"

   "You always believe the liars!"

   Huffing, sighing, kicking the chairs, sassing, jumping up and down, falling onto the floor and yelling..... is all par for the course.

   Some days I can brush it off, like water rolling off a ducks back but other days, days like today...... it is really hard not to give in and believe the words I hear. 

    I was mulling this over and this thought came to mind, "These situations can be blessings, they give you opportunity to practice the love of Jesus. View these words as blessings instead of trials."

  If you are having a tough day, try viewing the situation as an opportunity to show and share Jesus' love, your outlook on life just might change!



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