Friday, July 29, 2016

A Cancelled Appointment, An Opportunity To Practice Trust

      On Thursday I took Joseph for some lab work and a liver EKG in preparation for some medication his psychiatrist is considering. In May our family doctor referred Joseph to a neurologist as he had some things going on the concerned her. In light of that appointment the psychiatrist said just to be on the safe side, he will wait to see Joseph until after he see's the neurologist. That meant we had to wait until the end of August for his psych appointment as we had a three month wait to see the neurologist. 

    I came home from the lab yesterday to find a message on my answering machine. It was the secretary from the neurologists office saying our insurance company did not renew their contract with them effective August 1, 2016. She recommended we call our insurance company to find a practice that takes our insurance. I can't help but feel that we "wasted" a whole summer. We could have had a follow up with the psychiatrist much sooner and possibly alleviated some of Joseph's anxiety and mood swings which would in turn have made our summer easier. It is when faced with such a situation that I remind myself, "You can feel frustrated or you can say, God is at work, He has a plan, I just need to trust him."

Joseph's smile that says, "I have some really big feelings going on!"

Joseph's expression reminds me of the one he had when he was placed with us 8.5 years ago. His inability to trust makes situations like this one tough. I did my best to assure him that the liver EKG would be painless but of course he didn't believe me. I looked in his eyes, held his hand and every other connected thing I could think of doing but it was obvious I wasn't getting through. When he was finished he looked at me with a surprised look and said, "It didn't even hurt!" 

On a FASD group of which I am a member, someone asked, "People say connected parenting works for all children, does it work for those with FASD?" My answer was, "My son responds to it but the effects are not lasting. Our bond helps him feel loved and connected but his brain damage makes him reject that love at times."

He knows I don't lie to him but when he is in a stressful situation, he cannot access that part of his brain. He forgets that mom loves him, that I will keep him safe, his brain is flashing the danger signal and he panics.

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