Kiana was having a hard time accepting her past this weekend. At first she didn't know what was wrong, all she knew was that she wasn't feeling good inside. I asked her questions and slowly wormed the truth out of her; she was missing her birth mom. Poor girl, she was heartbroken over her loss. I affirmed her pain, listened to her talk and assured her we love her and it is okay to miss her mom, it doesn't hurt my feelings when she tells me she wishes she lived with her mom.
Nothing I said or did was reaching her and I was silently praying for wisdom when God reminded me of some pictures I have stashed in a drawer. Several months ago I printed pictures of our children's bio parents intending to make them each a collage to keep by their bedside. In the busyness of life, it never happened.
Dean took Lia out to the shop with him so Kiana and I could have some uninterrupted mom and daughter time. I took out the pictures and got my scrap booking supplies. Together we made a collage of pictures, then I searched for quotes online and printed some of them out, others I wrote beside the pictures before framing the collage..
As we were scrolling through the quotes she found this one:
My mother gave me softest hair and moonlit eyes and skin so smooth,
She gave me life, her flesh and blood, a place to grow, and warmth and food.
But when I came into the world,
Her life stared deep into her soul,
She knew she could not give me all so she gave me up to make me whole.
You can find it here.
Kiana looked at me and her eyes filled with tears. She whispered, "That is just like what my birth mom did," then she broke down and sobbed. No one ever prepared me to help someone through such raw grief. Sometimes Dean and I feel wholly inadequate to fulfill the task God has called us to, that of parenting children who have experienced tremendous loss at such a young age.
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