I am continually amazed at the many techniques God uses to show me truths as well as encourage me.
Our children always seems to be dealing with something which is typical when a child has multiple levels of trauma. Adoption always includes loss and pain add in a sibling with RAD and a disrupted adoption and it is little wonder they sometimes drown in grief.
As children and adults tend to do, they try to assuage that grief by various means, most of which aren't helpful.
Yesterday at church I was encouraged and blessed by comments from various speakers.
We were challenged to fully accept and embrace our God given calling in life. I had a very disgruntled child by my side. This child had been making very poor choices over the past 24 hours leaving Dean and I begging for prayers and wisdom. The other three children were having a very hard time dealing with the chaos and drama brought on by hours of raging. A friend texted me and said when this happens at their house the rest of the family leaves until the storm dies down. This text came at a crucial point and was just what I needed. I packed up the three remaining children and we went to the local donut shop drive through. We went home when Dean texted that things had calmed down. Thinking back over our tumultuous evening I was convicted to stop trying to create what I would call a typical family setting and instead create a home where my children can thrive and grow even if it draws me out of my comfort zone.
The message at church included the story of the men who carried their sick friend to Jesus for healing. Upon finding the house crowded they risked their safety and took apart the roof, creating a hole large enough to let down their friends bed. They did everything they could to get their friend to Jesus. We were encouraged to look around us and find those who need us to bring them to Jesus. I once more thought of my disgruntled child. I caught Deans eye and we both had to smile.
Dean had a talk with Tristan over the loss of dreams, something everyone deals with from time to time. In his 13 years Tristan has had to give up some pretty significant dreams. Dean encouraged him to use those losses as building blocks rather than stumbling blocks. The message reiterated many of the things Dean pointed out as he tried to help Tristan understand why he feels some of the things he does. We are continually amazed at how often God uses Dean and I to reaffirm what the other has been telling a child. When Dean or I spend time guiding a child through an issue we usually have the child tell the other parent what they have been told. It is easy for our children to agree with what they are hearing but when they have to tell the other parent what they have learned and why, it helps them own the conversation. Usually the parent who is listening to the child tell what they learned has a few points to add and we often hear a sheepish, "That is what mom/dad just said!" Hearing something from two different people has a way of driving the lesson home and God continually gives us the words to do just that.
like my blog fb page Tales From Our House to receive updates as well as links to trauma informed articles
Our children always seems to be dealing with something which is typical when a child has multiple levels of trauma. Adoption always includes loss and pain add in a sibling with RAD and a disrupted adoption and it is little wonder they sometimes drown in grief.
As children and adults tend to do, they try to assuage that grief by various means, most of which aren't helpful.
Yesterday at church I was encouraged and blessed by comments from various speakers.
We were challenged to fully accept and embrace our God given calling in life. I had a very disgruntled child by my side. This child had been making very poor choices over the past 24 hours leaving Dean and I begging for prayers and wisdom. The other three children were having a very hard time dealing with the chaos and drama brought on by hours of raging. A friend texted me and said when this happens at their house the rest of the family leaves until the storm dies down. This text came at a crucial point and was just what I needed. I packed up the three remaining children and we went to the local donut shop drive through. We went home when Dean texted that things had calmed down. Thinking back over our tumultuous evening I was convicted to stop trying to create what I would call a typical family setting and instead create a home where my children can thrive and grow even if it draws me out of my comfort zone.
The message at church included the story of the men who carried their sick friend to Jesus for healing. Upon finding the house crowded they risked their safety and took apart the roof, creating a hole large enough to let down their friends bed. They did everything they could to get their friend to Jesus. We were encouraged to look around us and find those who need us to bring them to Jesus. I once more thought of my disgruntled child. I caught Deans eye and we both had to smile.
Dean had a talk with Tristan over the loss of dreams, something everyone deals with from time to time. In his 13 years Tristan has had to give up some pretty significant dreams. Dean encouraged him to use those losses as building blocks rather than stumbling blocks. The message reiterated many of the things Dean pointed out as he tried to help Tristan understand why he feels some of the things he does. We are continually amazed at how often God uses Dean and I to reaffirm what the other has been telling a child. When Dean or I spend time guiding a child through an issue we usually have the child tell the other parent what they have been told. It is easy for our children to agree with what they are hearing but when they have to tell the other parent what they have learned and why, it helps them own the conversation. Usually the parent who is listening to the child tell what they learned has a few points to add and we often hear a sheepish, "That is what mom/dad just said!" Hearing something from two different people has a way of driving the lesson home and God continually gives us the words to do just that.
like my blog fb page Tales From Our House to receive updates as well as links to trauma informed articles
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thanks for commenting. I love hearing from my readers!