Saturday, July 22, 2017

I Don't Know What My Business Is - Living With FASD

Whenever we think we finally know how to parent our son with FASD, something new throws us off track. The latest, "Something new," has been constantly minding everyone else's business along with a decrease in mental/cognitive functioning on his part. These two things combined have been making my brain spin and his siblings frustration and tolerance for his actions decrease. 

I tried reminding him to mind his own business, ignoring him and any other trick I could dream up, but nothing worked so I went to my trusty FASD support group and asked for help. This group is comprised of parents as well as adults with FASD. The latter, is a huge blessing because they often remember doing the things that we parents find frustrating, and can explain why they did them. 

I received many helpful responses. Including the reminder that people with FASD, find it easier to hear and see things outside of their own actions, due to the fact that they have a hard time internalizing abstract reasoning. This makes perfect sense and is something we see in him quite frequently.

I explained why his siblings (and sometimes his parents) are getting frustrated by his constant interrupting and adding his three cents worth to conversations that have nothing to do with him. He looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "How do I know what is my business?" Ouch! Poor boy! 

FASD is unfair, but at times it is just plain cruel! I should have thought of the fact that perhaps he doesn't know what we mean when we say, "I wasn't talking to you Joseph, mind your own business." No wonder he was getting frustrated with us and vice versa!

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