A friend gave me a card with the following written on it:
But in the dark, I hear God whisper,
Did you hug them?
Did you feed them?
Did you clothe them?
Did you love them as hard as you could?
Then you've done enough. Leave the rest to me. And then rest in the fact that though you will never be enough, I am.
Let me fill your gaps. Loosen your grip. make room for me. Yes, do what you can. But don't kill yourself trying to do what only I can.
You are not enough.
And that is okay.
You weren't meant to be.
- jordanharrell.com
I have the card hanging on my bulletin board where I can read it often because in my humanness, I so quickly forget and try to carry the load myself.
We read about trauma and frantically search out the right therapy, the right diet, the right medication, then beat ourselves up when our child falls apart despite our best efforts. No one likes feeling like a failure, especially when the stakes are so high. Especially when your child's future is hanging in the balance. That is when I take comfort in the words, "You are not enough. And that is okay. You weren't meant to be."
You wanted this child, you fought the "system," you begged, and pleaded with God for this child. Then one wonderful day he was legally yours, even though in your heart you considered him your child long before the courts signed the necessary paperwork. How you rejoiced! You had an adoption party, family and friends congratulated your on your wonderful, selfless act. You reveled in the praise, feeling you had the world by it's shoulders. You adopted a child who had no home AND you now have another son/daughter. A win-win situation for all involved. Until it wasn't. Until your child began to pour out the hurt and pain he had bottled up inside, the pain that was just waiting for a safe place to unload. You weren't ready, you weren't prepared. The people who once stood by you, no longer praise you, instead they talk behind your back and report you to CPS. You are crushed and broken. You search desperately for the love you once felt for your child and feel intense guilt for the bitter feelings that are hidden in the recesses of your heart. You cry out a wordless prayer and hear God reply, "Did you hug them? Did you feed them? Did you clothe them? Did you love them as hard as you could? Then you've done enough. Leave the rest to me. And then rest in the fact that though you will never be enough, I am." And those words bring a peace that passes understanding into your troubled heart.
When you can no longer keep your child safe in your home and you seek out another placement for him....
When you find things in your child's possession that make your stomach churn.....
When the child whom you spent hours rocking as he sobbed and raged, turns on you and attacks you physically and verbally.....
When CPS comes knocking on your door because your child made false allegations yet again.....
When your child tells you he needs to talk to you and reveals things his sibling did - and it was on your watch! When you were the adult in charge of keeping everyone safe.....
May you hear Jesus gently whisper:
"Let me fill your gaps. Loosen your grip. make room for me. Yes, do what you can. But don't kill yourself trying to do what only I can."
Because sooner or later in life, we all come to the place where we realize we are not enough. When God has called you to care for the used, abused and neglected little one's of this world, you may find yourself face to face with this truth multiple times a day. When you are responsible for the life of a child and you continually face situations that are beyond your human ability to change or correct, remember God knows we are human. But never forget that HE IS GOD!
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But in the dark, I hear God whisper,
Did you hug them?
Did you feed them?
Did you clothe them?
Did you love them as hard as you could?
Then you've done enough. Leave the rest to me. And then rest in the fact that though you will never be enough, I am.
Let me fill your gaps. Loosen your grip. make room for me. Yes, do what you can. But don't kill yourself trying to do what only I can.
You are not enough.
And that is okay.
You weren't meant to be.
- jordanharrell.com
I have the card hanging on my bulletin board where I can read it often because in my humanness, I so quickly forget and try to carry the load myself.
We read about trauma and frantically search out the right therapy, the right diet, the right medication, then beat ourselves up when our child falls apart despite our best efforts. No one likes feeling like a failure, especially when the stakes are so high. Especially when your child's future is hanging in the balance. That is when I take comfort in the words, "You are not enough. And that is okay. You weren't meant to be."
You wanted this child, you fought the "system," you begged, and pleaded with God for this child. Then one wonderful day he was legally yours, even though in your heart you considered him your child long before the courts signed the necessary paperwork. How you rejoiced! You had an adoption party, family and friends congratulated your on your wonderful, selfless act. You reveled in the praise, feeling you had the world by it's shoulders. You adopted a child who had no home AND you now have another son/daughter. A win-win situation for all involved. Until it wasn't. Until your child began to pour out the hurt and pain he had bottled up inside, the pain that was just waiting for a safe place to unload. You weren't ready, you weren't prepared. The people who once stood by you, no longer praise you, instead they talk behind your back and report you to CPS. You are crushed and broken. You search desperately for the love you once felt for your child and feel intense guilt for the bitter feelings that are hidden in the recesses of your heart. You cry out a wordless prayer and hear God reply, "Did you hug them? Did you feed them? Did you clothe them? Did you love them as hard as you could? Then you've done enough. Leave the rest to me. And then rest in the fact that though you will never be enough, I am." And those words bring a peace that passes understanding into your troubled heart.
When you can no longer keep your child safe in your home and you seek out another placement for him....
When you find things in your child's possession that make your stomach churn.....
When the child whom you spent hours rocking as he sobbed and raged, turns on you and attacks you physically and verbally.....
When CPS comes knocking on your door because your child made false allegations yet again.....
When your child tells you he needs to talk to you and reveals things his sibling did - and it was on your watch! When you were the adult in charge of keeping everyone safe.....
May you hear Jesus gently whisper:
"Let me fill your gaps. Loosen your grip. make room for me. Yes, do what you can. But don't kill yourself trying to do what only I can."
Because sooner or later in life, we all come to the place where we realize we are not enough. When God has called you to care for the used, abused and neglected little one's of this world, you may find yourself face to face with this truth multiple times a day. When you are responsible for the life of a child and you continually face situations that are beyond your human ability to change or correct, remember God knows we are human. But never forget that HE IS GOD!
Follow me on FB@ Tales from Our House Blog
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