Thursday, December 4, 2014

Another RAD Life Post

I have been getting quite a bit of criticism for my posts lately. Seems people feel I am being to negative and acting as if no one understands. So, I will offer this disclaimer right up front: this is another RAD post so feel free to skip this post as it isn't one about warm fuzzy feelings.

The other week we learned Braden will need to be home over Christmas. Part of me wants him home and part of me is sick at heart. Braden hasn't been making any progress. Miss Sharon said she thinks he will be fine at home, we will just need to be watch him 24/7. Dean offered to stay home and help out as the school children will also be home and Christmas vacation is difficult for children with trauma. Having Braden home will be sure to stir up memories of unpleasant times and since he isn't emotionally ready for a home visit,  his instability will spread to the other children. I wish good moods and stability were so catching.
   We are still waiting for more information regarding Bradens future. With that hanging over us the thought of a home visit at this time looks scary. I am not sure if it is the upcoming visit, the Big Decision, the criticism or if it is just me but things are just hard right now. Last week was a good week and so maybe this week is pay back time. I am feeling rather envious of those animals that can curl up and sleep until spring.
   Kiana and Joseph have had a hard week as well. Joseph is struggling to get back into the school routine after a long vacation. His poor teacher! Lia has some contact with her birthmom since her adoption, which Kiana declares isn't fair. I agree with Kiana, it isn't fair. Kiana's way of coping was to act out and teach Lia some naughty words and actions. I knew that Lia hadn't learned those things on her own and was ready to set Kiana straight when Dean stopped me and said he wonders if the things we are seeing aren't related to Lia seeing birthmom. It didn't take long before Kiana was sobbing out her pain and fears. Sometimes I wonder where children get all of their ideas! Talking it over gave Kiana and I a chance to cry it out together. Kiana and I seem to have our best bonding times when we cry together. ;)
    I put all of the scissors away as I stated in my last post. Last night while I was washing dishes Lia wanted a scissors to cut a piece of paper. I handed one to her and made sure there wasn't anything around that could be cut. I didn't think about her hair....when I turned around she was giving herself bangs and laying the hair beside her on the floor. She said her hair kept hanging in her face, so she cut it off! Guess she felt that was a logical solution to the problem. She also had  a small doll that she chopped all the hair off of. She said she made it look like a princess. It wasn't any loss as it was a small doll with weird pink hair. Kiana was not very happy with her. She told me Lia cuts everything! I reminded her that when she was Lia's age she cut both her own hair and Josephs.
I love looking back over my old pictures, sometimes I would love to go back and then here are days when I am so thankful to send them to school in the morning! :)

Ready to leave for Iowa, October 2009
Tristan 5
Braden and Kiana 2
 and Joseph 22 months

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