Friday, March 20, 2015

Missing Daddy

                                                                                                                                                                             This week has been tough for the children, Dean has been gone for the past three evenings and they are feeling neglected. Isn't it amazing how you can pour weeks of love into them but their old fears are right under the surface waiting to pop up when they feel their safety and security is threatened.
                 Image result for trauma quotes
       Tuesday evening Dean had a meeting and the children weren't to upset. Joseph had a tough day at school on Wednesday but I passed it off because he has had so many good day's I figured he was due a rough one. Wednesday evening Dean had to work late to get a piece of equipment up and running for the next morning. He called me a little before supper time to tell me things weren't going like he planned so I decided to let the children eat awhile. 
   When he wasn't home in time to give Joseph his good night hug n kiss, Joseph declared he was not going to bed. I called Dean and told him Joseph needs a little reassurance, could he talk to him a few minutes? Joseph told his daddy about his day and they said good night. Joseph was then able to cheerfully go to bed. Just hearing his daddy's voice calmed those fears.
   Tristan and the girls were playing in the basement and Kiana was being loud and obnoxious. I called her upstairs and when we talked she said she was missing daddy. So we made yet another phone call, which eased her fears as well.
  Everything should go better now, I thought when Dean came home from work. Not so, there was another little girl who wasn't happy that her daddy was gone most of the evening. 
   Lia didn't want to give Dean a hug and kiss before bedtime so I tucked her in. She lay quietly for a few minutes then said, "You are kind, mom but dad isn't." When I asked her why not, her lips trembled and she said, "We eat without daddy and he works a long time." I picked her up and took her out to Dean, "You have another little person who needs reassurance," I told him. Lia refused to tell him why she was sad so I repeated what she had told me. Dean explained that he was sad when he had to work and couldn't come home to Lia but he had to fix something that was broken. In the end she hugged him and kissed him, then went to bed her usual happy self.
  Last night things didn't go according to schedule as planned and then Dean cut his finger and needed to, "Go get some nylon," as he put it. So daddy wasn't home again. I am praying nothing holds him up at work tonight because there are some people around here who are reliving the trauma of separation. 

This is my prayer for my children:

                      Image result for fear of loss of birth parent quotes

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