Thursday, November 19, 2015

Fatigue Times Ten

     The fatigue that blindsided me the past weeks, caught me by surprise. There have been many times through the years when a debilitating fatigue has come and settled in for a lengthy visit. The kind of tiredness that makes me set the cruise coming up the drive and looking forward to surgery because I know I can sleep as much as I wish. 
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       This week has me envying the animals that have the privilege of hibernating all winter. Wouldn't it be wonderful to sleep for months on end?

    Mom's who have been through similar circumstances said, "Give yourself time, it will get better... maybe in a year." I wanted to cry, a year?!! 
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    I thought handing Braden's care onto someone else would bring healing and I could relax, I didn't think I be so tired I can hardly function. I guess all the years of being strong, of constantly being on guard for the next problem and trying to make everything okay have taken a larger toll than I thought.
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    The quote about resting after a shower is meant to be humorous but sadly there is a lot of truth in it.

   My friend had an awesome analogy: If there is an accident and someone is trapped beneath a vehicle, rescuers can lift that vehicle off the victim, thanks to the surge of adrenaline they 
experience, but afterward they are exhausted. Parenting a child with RAD is like constantly lifting that car, our bodies are designed to endure bursts of adrenaline to help us in dangerous situations but we were not created for a constant flow of adrenaline. 
   Eventually our adrenal glands deplete themselves, and most times that is when people crash and get the rest and help they need. But when you are a mom and responsible for the care and safety of an emotionally unstable child, you keep going because the alternative is....well, there isn't an alternative. Mom is the one who must care for the child if he is to have a chance at healing. 
   Then when the responsibility of your child's care is transferred to other capable shoulders, you anticipate, at least I did, more energy and the desire to enlarge your relationships, instead you get debilitating fatigue. Yuck!

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"I am so happy I got this debilitating fatigue so I can stay in bed for the rest of my life instead of participating in society," said no tired person ever.

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