Quilt Of Holes

Sometimes parenting children with special needs feels well, hopeless. Day after day finds you trying to meet their needs while you are empty and needy yourself. I think especially of those who have children with RAD. They face a hidden darkness and pain that threatens to pull them under. I pray this poem would encourage us all to continue with the mundane tasks of life.

                         Quilt Of Holes

As I faced my Maker at the Last Judgement, I knelt before the Lord with all the other souls.

Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt patches together into a tapestry that is our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant hoes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships which I had endured, which were the largest holes of all.

I glanced around me. No one else had such squares....other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.

Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries, so full their lives had been...My angel looked upon me and nodded for me to rise.

My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness and wealth and false accusations that took me from my world as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time lifting it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. 

I rose and slowly lifted the the combined squares of my life and lifted it to the light. An awe filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide open eyes.

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in his eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships and My struggles.


Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."

May all our quilts be threadbare and worn, allowing Christ to shine through!