FASD Talk

Joseph's speech is typical of those FASD. He likes to use big words and it is amazing how often he uses them in the correct context beings he has no idea what the words mean. 
  He has difficulty finding the correct words for things, for instance, mayonnaise is sometimes called white ketchup.
    Sometimes he will say something and when I comment he will look at me with an odd expression because he didn't know he was talking.
  Here is an example of the mental workout we experience when carrying a conversation with Joseph:

While doing lessons...
   "We got mixed up and I did the wrong page so the teacher said I don't have to do anything." Since Joseph is smart enough to try to get out of work, I looked through his papers to see if I could figure out what he needed to do.
   "I think you are supposed to do these two pages," I told him.
   "No, we did the wrong one so now I have to do this one."
   I showed him the correct pages again and he said, "I know that mom, that is what I was trying to tell you!" 

  "Did you buy paint when we were at the store?"    "Oh, I thought you said you need to get more paint and I didn't want you to get it on my new floor."  

   "I need to go catch my snot." (Excuse the term)

 The boys were dressing for school one morning when Tristan reported that Joseph was talking about shooting. 
  "I am not! I didn't say anything!" Joseph shouted.
   "I heard you talking Joseph," I said, "Why don't you take your shoes to the family room to put them on and Tristan don't worry about it."
   Joseph was furious, "You are saying things that aren't true about me and I feel like you don't like me anymore!" He cried. 
   "Joseph it's okay, I wasn't scolding you," I told him. 
   "But you said I was pretending to shoot and I wasn't!" He retorted. So now he is upset with me because he says I believe something that isn't true.

  Joseph:  Someone at school said there are diamonds in lava.
  Me: Maybe he got mixed up
  Joseph: Maybe he meant hurricanes

  Did you know that old people look dead when they close their eyes? I learned it when I saw old people. 

Joseph: Thomas Walker, was he there?
Me: Where?
Joseph: At church the preacher said he will worship with us."

While looking at a fact book, Joseph said, "Mom, why would the average person spend three years on the toilet? I explained that it meant over their whole life.
   "That would still be a long time to sit!"

"If you make me say the thing I don't want to say then I won't say the thing I should say...Or what did you say?"

"Four more hoops then I am ready!"


"You may NOT be funnier than I am!"