Friday, May 5, 2017

A Long Week

This week has knocked me down and trampled me in the dirt. I knew it was going to be rough because I had to many things scheduled so I planned ahead and figured in as much down time as possible.

Monday evening Dean had a meeting at church, which usually sends the children into hysterics because, "Daddy is away and he might not come back and then what will I do?" This time, they did great, there weren't any tears, the girls went to bed without a fuss and I thought, "Maybe we are getting somewhere in the realm of attachment." 

Tuesday morning it all fell apart and I sent Kiana out the door to school in meltdown mode, something I hate to do. In the afternoon she had an appointment with her Lyme doctor. He decided to keep her on her meds for another month or so since she is still somewhat tolerating it. Our next option is daily IV treatment for a minimum of 6 weeks. I want to panic but I keep telling myself, we have done seemingly impossible things before, if necessary we can do it again. Dean took off work early so he could be home when the school children got home from school. Lia was one unhappy camper when she realized mom and Kiana weren't home.

Wednesday I went along on Lia's field trip. I didn't tell Kiana and Joseph I was going along because knowing mom isn't at home ups their anxiety. Somehow they figured it out and by the time we got to school they were both on high alert. Needless to say, I got texts from both of their teachers.

Yesterday Joseph had a follow up appointment with the geneticist. We did some genetic testing several months ago and learned he has a gene mutation. The doctor wanted to see him and explain the results to us in person. Unfortunately for me, there is a Geisinger medical center in Lewistown and a Geisinger in Lewisburg and I got the wrong one. They are over an hour apart so I made the 2 hour drive for nothing. Four hours and over 200 miles later, we were home again. What made it worse was Deans mom came to get the children off to school since I needed to leave by 7:30, which meant mom wasn't home when they left for school. That kicked Kiana's anxiety into high form and when she came home from school, I had an epic meltdown on my hands. I sent out a frantic text to friends asking for prayer because I was beyond tired and not coping. Dean came home a little early as well which was a huge blessing. After Kiana was in bed I was getting Lia ready for bed and she began whining. Dean reminded me, "There was a lot of drama around here tonight." Right. We have discovered that when Kiana is dysregulated it upsets Lia and she reverts to baby like behaviors. If we spend some  one on one time with her and reassure her she is usually fine. I told Dean filling the children's love tanks drains the energy right out of me.

I would love to hear what you all do to combat anxiety. We are hesitant to add anxiety meds to Kiana's regimen but this Lyme/trauma/PANS combo is making her life miserable.
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