Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Back To Normal

Life at our house is back to normal. One part of me is happy to have all my "babies" in my care once more and another part cries for the peace and tranquility that has vanished. I picked Braden up at Miss Kelli yesterday afternoon. I had planned to get him on Monday so he could go to school on Tuesday but due to some bad choices he had to stay another day to repay Miss Kelli by doing some extra jobs. He hates going to her house because he knows he cannot fool her with his sweet smile and big brown eyes. Braden told Miss Kelli that he will try harder to do a good job on her chores than he will when working for mom! The nerve. As much as I try not to let these comments hurt, they do. Last night Braden had therapy. As usual before seeing Braden, Miss Laura spent time talking to me and asking how our week went. She said I should be hurt by those nasty comments from Braden but at the same time I must not take them to heart. I never knew a child could cause such a roller coaster of emotions. While talking over the happenings of the past week I mentioned that I am thankful my heart still hurts when Braden has to suffer due to the choices he makes in life. It assures me that I still have a little heart left. When dealing with RAD, you dare not wear your heart on your sleeve but you must show just the right amount of love and only when appropriate. My heart/emotions feel like they are being tossed all over and are never in the right place at the right time. I keep reminding myself to let go and let God. My humanness keeps getting in the way though and trying to fix this child. God keeps reminding me I cannot fix him, I can only enable him to desire to fix himself.

On another note, we have begun giving our younger children Omega 3. Anyone else out there give that for ADD and ADHD? Can it make a difference in a matter of days or are we so hopeful we see progress when there really isn't any? I picked up a bottle of Omega 3 at the pharmacy never looking to see what size the pills were. They are these large gel tabs. Dean thought Kiana and Joseph should be able to swallow them besides the gel gets soft so they can't choke. Kiana gagged and coughed and carried on then suddenly she swallowed it. Her eyes about popped out of her head in a tone of disbelief she said, "I swallowed it!" Joseph was another story. He can and does swallow his food without chewing. Pills are obviously in a different category cause he promptly swallowed the water and chewed the pill. Poor boy was shuddering! If Joseph shuddered over the taste it was bad cause he can eat pretty much anything.

Tomorrow I am going fabric shopping with a friend. Julia and I had this shopping trip planned for several weeks as we couldn't seem to coordinate our schedules at the time. My mom is going to take the three little ones and keep them overnight. Friday evening my family is coming over so she will bring them back then. I am looking forward to the break but I am going to miss my little people! Especially Luna. She is at such a fun age. Tristan locks his bedroom door to keep little people out, to open the door he sticks a knife in the keyhole and unlocks it. The other day Luna wanted in his room so she pushed a chair to my silverware drawer, got a knife and proceeded to try unlocking the door. She is into everything! Today she has her next to last visit with her birth mom, Monday is TPR then there is to be one final visit to say good bye. I hate those final visits! In the two adoptions we have had one mom came for the final visit and sobbed on my shoulder when it was time to go and the other mom didn't come. It is nice to have closure but when you are carrying away a mothers child, one she will most likely never see again...that hurts, bad!
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