Friday, July 26, 2013

A Battle Won

Joseph has been really struggling since Braden left. He has always had a difficult time when he thinks about his bio family. Usually a talk or looking at pictures gave him the boost he needed to work through things. I spoke with Sharon about Joseph as we are reaching out for any advice we can get. I will add that we appreciate advice from folks who have already walked this road! :) Anyway, Sharon suggested asking him what he is afraid of i.e. being sent away or Braden never coming home. This morning I got the perfect opportunity. He threw a typical Joseph fit, the anger & pain I saw in his eyes told me we had another long chat coming up. :) After he calmed down I asked him if there is anything he is afraid of. He thought for a while then said, "I am afraid a tree will fall down." Sigh! He obviously didn't intend to make this easy for me. When dealing with a child you need to be really careful you don't place ideas in their head. Braden and Joseph have already used our subtle (we thought) questioning and made up a story that wasn't true. Lesson learned! Back to Joseph, he was also afraid of an ant crawling on his foot and some other inconsequential things. I fianlly said, "When you think of Braden being at Miss Sharon, does it make you feel afraid/" He finally admitted that he worries we will take him there if he is naughty. I then asked if we took Braden to Miss Sharon because he was naughty. Joseph thought about that for awhile then said Braden went there because he made alot of bad choices. I asked Joseph if he knew mom sometimes makes bad choices... I gave him an example :(... he looked rather dumbfounded! I said everyone makes bad choices sometimes but sometimes people are hurting so badly inside they don't even want to make good choices. Miss Sharon is a lady who helps boys and girls want to make good choices. I told him he wants to make good choices and that makes all the difference. When I gave him a hug after our talk he leaned into me and gave me a huge hug in return along with a big "Joseph Smile!" He has been a happy boy ever since. I know the war is not nearly won but I think we won this battle.

In other news.... Dean finished the girls bunk beds! Kiana ordered a purple bed and was disappointed the  mattress wasn't purple as well. We rearranged furniture and assembled the bed last night. Luna was so excited she bounced around here all evening. I left her run cause I was a little, well maybe a lot worried about bedtime. She used to sleep in a pack n play and couldn't climb out. Her new bed has a rail to prevent her from falling out but she climbs right over it. It took over an hour till she finally fell asleep. We tried all the tricks to no avail. Thankfully all the running had worn her out and eventually her eyes would no longer stay open. She slept all night but was up bright and early this morning! I was having my devotions when I heard the pitter patter of little feet, sure enough here comes Luna! Her eyes were sparkling and she informed me, "daddy, new bed!"
 If you come to our house any time in the near future be prepared to be pulled back to the bedroom to see the bunk beds!

A Little R & R

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