The End Of Family Therapy

Fall is coming! We often see deer this time of year. Yesterday Tristan was eating breakfast when he spied a doe and her two fawns walking up the back drive. They came within several yards of the house. We stood just inside the patio doors watching them wander around.

This ball player got separated from her team and was found wandering through my kitchen. She is showing me her throwing arm! A bike helmet and the lattice from her play house make the perfect helmet and face shield.

Last night we had our last session of family therapy with Miss Laura. Laura doesn't feel she is able to help the children work towards reconciling with Braden while he isn't living at home. I agree but we thought family therapy was to help us deal with the trauma we endured. For some reason I keep getting the impression that the therapist feels if we would have been the "christian parents" we should have been Braden wouldn't have had to leave. I really struggle with the thought of having him come home again and am looking into some therapy for myself. I know enough about psychology to know the feelings I have towards Braden need to be resolved before he comes home or it will never work. I am comfortable calling Braden my son but not being responsible for him. He scares me in ways I never dreamed possible, besides I enjoy connecting with my children. I couldn't do that while Braden lived at home and am so afraid we will lose all we gained if he comes home.

And then there is Joseph. Sad, angry Joseph. He feels that if he could only live with his mom his world would be perfect. In his opinion, the only thing standing in the way of his being with his bio mom is Dean and I. We have gone round and round on the issue and keep getting stuck at, "But I want to live with my Mommy___!" Dean suggested he pray for his Mommy when he feels angry about the situation but in the heat of the moment he never remembers and once he is in a full blown rage there is no reasoning with him. He brought a paper home from school that was full of black and brown scribbles. That pretty much sums up his feelings: mad n sad all swirled together. Laura suggested I take him to see a therapist maybe we can receive some guidance on how to deal with his tantrums. She suggested Pressly Ridge but they don't take anyone under the age of 6. They did agree to do an intake/info app. before then. Seems like we have been down this road before... I have a chiropractor app this morning. My neck is once more out of whack due to "keeping everyone safe" during a tantrum. Oh well, at least life is never boring around here. If I could honestly choose between going through these struggles and growing closer to Jesus or skipping the struggles and not growing I would probably choose the struggles. So for today I will be thankful for the thorns that allow me to fully enjoy the roses!!