Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Constant Supervision

What do you do when you have several children who behave like preschoolers emotionally and you average 2 appointments a week? This is one of the major downsides of homeschooling...all my children are home and my three youngest all need me to supervise them constantly.

So this morning I had a dentist appointment but my middle two were a bit of a handful. Joseph wasn't thinking coherently -Dean thought perhaps there was another eclipse as Joseph hasn't returned to baseline since the last one. Kiana is in the midst of another PANS flare, at least that is what I think it is. She had a loose tooth and other moms have talked about the mental/emotional deterioration that can go along with that. I couldn't take all three along since two can't be in the waiting room together unsupervised, neither did I want two in the room with me while I was having my mouth worked on.

I gave Joseph a pep talk, told big brother what to do if things went south and gave dad a heads up that he would be on call. Kiana took her school work along and I took Lia with me, thinking she would enjoy watching me get my tooth filled. Everything was fine for about 5 minutes then Lia realized no one was paying attention to her and mom was slightly incapacitated. Things went downhill from there. She went out to the waiting room to Kiana and I heard them laughing hysterically, shouting, arguing and toys being tossed. I was on pins and needles and to make matters worse, they kept messing up and had to drill then refill my tooth three times!!!! The dentist assured me that the girls weren't bothering her but I knew what they are capable of and I was growing more concerned by the minute. 1.5 hours of trauma for this mama and we were finally ready to leave!

Thankfully the boys were fine at home, they got their school work finished and were enjoying some free time. 

Someone recently asked me if the disabilities associated with FASD only show up around school age, as that is when our children began struggling. I thought about that and decided it becomes a problem then because at home we make boundaries and put supports in place to help them succeed but out in public or at school those things aren't always readily available. 

At home I always know where my three youngest are. Here of late they all needed to be in line of sight because they cannot make good choices without an external brain to guide them. I don't realize how many supports we have in place until we are away from home and it is obvious that they are unable to cope. It makes for some rough days but thankfully they don't always have bad days all at once.

So how do you all do it? Did you personally train someone to babysit? I don't go anywhere other than the absolutely necessary appointments but somehow it still seems as though I constantly need a sitter. 

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